An Open Letter to Everyone Writing Open Letters

No one cares.

I See Dead People

It's been said that you know you're getting old when your idols start to die. Roger Ebert passing away this week is just the latest in a disturbing trend of my idols that are now dying off. Let's look at the list, shall we?


Buddy Rich- He was known as the World's Greatest Drummer for good reason. Died April 2, 1987.




Richard Feynman- a Nobel prize winner, brilliant author, and all around fascinating guy. Died February 15, 1988.




Sam Kinison- my favorite comedian of all time. He broke all the rules, yet it worked for him. Died April 10, 1992.




Stanley Kubrick- the greatest filmmaker to ever live not named "Hitchcock". He also did things on his own terms- the mark of a true artist. Died March 7, 1999.




Roger Ebert- the man that made me learn to LOVE movies, not just as entertainment, but as works of art. Died April 4, 2013.



What this tells me is that I hope David Garibaldi, Howard Stern, and Louis C.K. are very careful in February, March, and April from now on.

Rape Sucks. So Does Libel.

Trigger warning- common sense, cogent arguments, and all around awesomeness.

There is a lot of talk on the Internet these days about "rape culture" and whether certain things are off limits for inclusion in humor or other forms of entertainment. Some recent examples I can think of are the Penny Arcade Dickwolves controversy, The Daniel Tosh heckler comeback, and now a problem with a comment someone made when introducing a screening of the Evil Dead remake.

I am a strong believer in the right to express yourself verbally in any way you see fit. If your speech has consequences, so be it. Suck it up and take them- don't apologize for your opinions just because they're unpopular. When you express an unpopular opinion, there will likely be some backlash. Hell, that's what's given me 150+ posts on mattwalkersucks.com.

I don't mind when I'm told I'm wrong, that I'm an idiot, that I should be burned at the stake, etc., because it's just some other asshole's opinion. They don't mean anything to me, and as such, I don't care what they think about, well, anything. But it seems that some persons are incapable of accepting that others don't agree with them.

The reason I bring this up is that in the examples I listed above, certain Internet users chose to express their outrage by saying that the guys behind Penny Arcade, Daniel Tosh, and now Nick Nunziata are PRO RAPE. That kind of ridiculous statement is what makes someone like me want to reject their entire argument about whether "rape culture" even exists. None of these people are PRO RAPE. None of them are advocating that actual rapes take place. In the examples listed, the "rapes" that occurred were a) in a comic strip, b) purely fictional in a heckler comeback, and c) done by a tree in a movie.

Saying these persons are a fan of rape, or that they're pro rape, or that they like rape is flat out lying about them, and is certainly libelous. Louis C.K. got accused of being a "Rape Apologist" just for sending Daniel Tosh a tweet saying that he liked his TV show.

If you want anyone to take you seriously when discussing these issues, deal with what was actually said in context, or you're just going to make your own case look bad. Rape is awful- we all agree about that. There are some legitimate points to be made about how we can prevent more rapes from occurring, but if you are someone that insists on saying that the word can't be mentioned without a trigger warning, or that jokes about it are NEVER funny, or that anyone who does use the term is encouraging/approving of/contributing to future rapes, then you're just hurting your own cause.

P.S. If you're disturbed not just by the concept of rape, but by hearing the word "rape" expressed in a flippant manner, then here's a hint- don't watch a movie that's a remake of a movie where a tree rapes a woman. It's not going to end well.

Twitter Troll

I know, I know, I haven't been blogging much lately. I'm busy, and I tweet most of my thoughts before they get to blog form anyway. Speaking of me tweeting, I've compiled some of my best tweets and put them in an e-book that you can get for the low price of whatever you want to pay. That's right- name your own price. Go find out all about it at: http://www.funnymatt.com/twitter_troll.html

You can buy it directly from me, or get it through Amazon on your Kindle. Enjoy!

Mustang Sally

On January 28th, 1986, the Challenger exploded, which was when I really learned about the feeling of shared grief. As a 6th grader that wanted to be an astronaut and had seen the Space Shuttle land in person, I was deeply saddened by this event. I'll never forget being told about it by my Jr. High band director, Mr. Ronzello. I didn't believe him and thought it was a really mean lie to tell to kids.

Then about a week I later learned the joy of telling terrible jokes about tragedies. And thus an asshole was born.

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astroauts!
What color were Sally Rides eyes? Blue- One blew this way, one blew that way!

Yeah, that's what we tossed around in Jr. High.

P.S. If you don't get why I called this blog post Mustang Sally, pay attention to the background singers in this classic.

November 6th Voter Guide

It's been a long and annoying election season, and it seems we're in a time of near perpetual campaigning. But you can tune all those political ads out, and just read this post to find out how you should vote. I'm in Southeast LA County, and depending on how close you live to me, that will determine how many of these things you can also vote on. Please note- if you disagree with me, that doesn't mean I think you're a bad person, or anything negative, it just means we disagree. Nothing wrong with a little healthy debate about how the country should be run. Without further ado, here is how I think you should vote.

President
As a member of the Green Party and 3 time Nader voter, one might expect that I'd vote for Jill Stein, but her stance on how to deal with the middle east is a no go for me. I like Gary Johnson as a speaker, and where he agrees with Nader/Barr/Stein/Anderson, he's one of the best advocates for personal freedom in America. Unfortunately, he also wants to go back to the gold standard instead of having fiat currency, which just isn't viable. With that being said, I will be writing in Rocky Anderson (a qualified write in candidate in CA). Remember- the only wasted vote is one cast for someone that you don't fully support. Always vote for the best possible option, not just the major party one that doesn't suck as bad as the other major party one.

Senator
No write-ins are allowed, and I vowed years ago to never vote for Dianne Feinstein after her office confirmed that she does indeed support a constitutional amendment to ban flag burning. So in this race, I will cast a vote for no one.

U.S. Representative
I'm no fan of Linda Sanchez, but Benjamin Campos is a proponent of increased offshore oil drilling. That doesn't fly with me, so I'll suck it up and vote for Sanchez.

Assembly
Ian Calderon comes from a family with  long and checkered history in CA politics. I dislike his father, and am glad he's termed out, and his uncle is no prize either. But I like his youth and enthusiasm, and hopefully he'll be less susceptible to the shady practices his relatives have engaged in. Besides, Noel Jaimes doesn't even have a platform on his website. Who can trust someone that won't even say what it is they believe? Vote Calderon.

DA
Alan Jackson is endorsed by that whackjob Don Knabe. Jackie Lacey is endorsed by that crazy person Steve Cooley. I don't think who wins really matters all that much, so I'll side with Jackie Lacey, under the theory that I'd like to see more women involved in running things.

Prop 30
This one sucks both ways. If it passes, we pay one of the worst taxes around, the sales tax, which has a disproportional effect on low income persons in the state. If it fails, automatic budget cuts are triggered which will screw things up even more. The fact that we need it is because dumbass voters in 1978 passed Prop 13 and no one in Sacramento has the balls to challenge it. I'll hold my nose and vote yes, but I'm not happy about it.

Prop 31
This would make sense if it were 1912 and not 2012. Do we really want to lock ourselves in to budgets that we can't change for two years? No, we don't. Vote no.

Prop 32
This *sounds* like it will take money out of politics, right? Sure does. But it won't. In fact, it will lead to MORE money, and it will cost local governments money in enforcing this crap. Vote no- we need election finance reform, but this isn't the way to do it.

Prop 33
No...just no. When's the last time an insurance company spent tens of millions to change the laws to save consumers money? Oh yeah, never. This isn't going to change that streak. Their misleading ads are also offensive, trying to posture something ONLY Mercury Insurance wants to pass as a veterans issue is shameful.

Prop 34
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. The death penalty is too costly, doesn't deter anyone, and isn't something we should entrust a flawed legal system with. Vote yes and get rid of it altogether.

Prop 35
Human trafficking is a big problem, and those that engage in it are dirtbags. I do not, however, think that the people should get involved in setting the length of prison sentences. I don't have time to study this crap, that's why I vote for a representative to do it. I'm voting no for that reason. Does that sound hypocritical after I said to vote yes for 34? Fine, I'm a hypocrite.

Prop 36
Another legal one, and I'll again be a hypocrite and say vote yes. Three strikes costs the state a ton of money, and doesn't do much to reduce the incidence of violent crime.

Prop 37
GMOs are 100% safe to eat. I'm not concerned about them in the food supply, and gladly purchase them. Most of those who are opposed to GMOs are misinformed and believe in all kinds of crazy chem trail conspiracy theories. They're the same whackos that turned Alar into a huge deal in the 80s (Screw you, Elizabeth Whelan.) That being said, consumers have the right to know when they're buying them. So vote yes, and let the hippies pay more for their stuff.

Prop 38
We're taxed enough as it is. And I'm definitely opposed to ballot measures that restrict where the legislature can decide to spend our money. They have too little flexibility as it is. Vote no.

Prop 39
This is presented as closing a loophole, though I'm not sure that it is. It's just a means of accounting that most other states disallow. I do think that making out tax structure more similar to that of other states is worthwhile, and say we should vote yes to eliminate the incentive to move jobs out of state.

Prop 40
The parties are pissed that ordinary people can now draw districts. Vote yes to keep them pissed off. It's worth it when that happens.

County Measure A
It's just an advisory vote, so it's non binding, but yes, the assessor shouldn't be elected. The dipshit that's in place now is under investigation for trading reduced assessments for campaign contributions. Let's eliminate that possibility.

County Measure B
I'm not a big fan of porn, so I don't really care as a consumer whether they wear condoms or not. I do think, however, that this is a way to regulate a problem that doesn't exist. Also, this would likely lead to more production being moved from Southern CA to other places (Vegas, Florida, Brazil, etc.) Like the product or not, there are many persons who depend on this industry who work behind the camera, and rent equipment to these productions. Let's keep that money here and vote no.

County Measure J
This is not a new tax, it just extends the period of time that we keep the existing rate (which was scheduled to be reduced by a half percent in 2039- it will now go to 2069.) Our infrastructure is aging, and we need the funds, so I'll begrudgingly say yes, despite our rate being the highest in the nation.

Whittier School District
I don't really care who wins this, but I did notice some grammatical errors on Guzman's website. That's not a good sign for a potential school board member. That's enough to make me say vote for Ruiz-Perez.

Measure Z
Bonds are the best way to raise funds in a time with extremely low interest rates and a weak dollar. If the taxes above were offered instead as bonds, I'd enthusiastically endorse them instead of weakly offering a mild thumbs up. Vote yes on this school bond issue.

I see you...

It's no secret that I love Avatar. I do a bit about it, I saw it in the theater a few times, and bought a Blu-Ray player just for that movie. Now it's available in 3D, but I don't own a 3D TV. I would buy one, but my bank account doesn't seem to think that's a good idea right now. Since I can't see it in 3D at home, I decided to just put myself in the movie. Thanks to a cool tutorial, I was able to create this. Enjoy- I know I will.